Writing

collection of my poetry and short stories

Posts tagged life
Instagram Free = A Better Human Being (At Least For Me)

As I'm sitting here in my apartment anticipating the drop of Drake's new album much like all the other soft ass bitches in the world, I realized its been a real minute since my little stubby fingers has strolled through the Instagram world. And to be honest I don't even miss it. I deleted the app earlier this year and have yet to have it back on my phone for this pure reason - I am a better human being for it

Instagram is bullshit and will continue to make people think and create even more bullshit in their lives. I stopped posting on my personal Instagram for that pretense because my mind was being cluttered with garbage that fucked me up all the time. I would find myself being the worst critic of anyone and anything that past through my feed and worst of all I was obsessing over bitches who have no type of impact on my life. 

Does it really matter that my ex liked this girl's picture? Or follows this person that I don't like? Better yet is it even remotely important that my side piece got a new pair of shoes and was stunting it for their 2,000 something followers? Nah. None of that shit matters and will continue to not matter when we pass on. And the only reason why any of us do it (including myself) is cause we have been ingrained to gain some sort of validation in tearing down and stalking these people we follow. But what the fuck are we really validating? Nothing but insecurities with ourselves and judgement towards others who are wandering the world just like us. 

So when I say I became a better person by dipping off Instagram I am basically saying in a nutshell that we need to stop caring about shit that isn't going to affect us in the long run. Cause everything is so temporary and life is a wonderful fleeting journey that should be spent doing things we love and not hovering over a phone screen. Let's not waste time comparing, obsessing, stalking, and scrolling through fragments of someone's edited life. I don't know y'all, maybe its time to grasp shit that's actually real like ourselves. 

Beloved

I'm just drifting into the small cracks of my life. The small hidden places where all my seeds reside and are slowly coming into the surface. I see it. The not so distant light that always plague me with fear and heavy eyes bursting with sadness. I live here now. I live in the dark damp places where the seeds have found its mother, its rightful home. Sprouting in the midst of chaos and nurtured by foreign clouds, I see growth. Where did they come from? What is their purpose for feeding these spaces in my life which I have denied and kept in spider webs. Who knows. All I know is something is being birthed out of life and the only words I can whisper is "Beloved".

Goals Not Plans

I apologize for the lack of posts but as of late I've been super busy readjusting my life to a 9-5 job and trying hard not to die from monotony. So far I've survived with the wonderful help of alcohol and various other methods. But as of late, my good friend Jim Beam is not doing his job. Like dude is fucking up and leading me to horrible fits of feels that ends with me weeping into my Sailor Moon pillow.

Although my girl Sailor Moon has been a great companion, I've come to the conclusion that my emotions and lack of creativity is being drained by my overly planned life. Which is strange cause I hate planning and hate routine. I guess this is what happens when you get a 9-5 job and start to feel the silent but overbearing pressure to be "someone" in the world. So where do people like me go from here? Do I continue on and become this grown up with grown up shit? Or do I try and venture out in the world seeking some truth that is beyond the capabilities of my human body?

Or I could say fuck it cause in reality, there is nothing I could do to make the world feel less heavy. The world by default is heavy from the loads of fucks we give and maybe instead of trying to plan my life around this heavy load, I can choose to well...to not plan at all. Cause in reality, what the fuck is the point of planning? Planning keeps you bounded in a small square of expectations and keeps you from being you in a world of possibility. I would much gather have goals. Goals are fluid, goals are realistic, and goals have no time line. Goals make sense. Plans don't. So in conclusion since I feel like I'm being all preachy, just fuck it.