collection of my poetry and short stories

Posts tagged Cubicle Curse
Thinking out loud

So your girl sucks at posting and I'm sorry. But your girl is also turning 24 years old in less than a week *squats down and throws obscene hand gestures* So please forgive ya girl as she slowly starts to piece her life together. I don't know why I keep referring to myself as "ya girl" but whatever, I'm here now and it all that matters.

With just a few days left of being 23, I want to make an attempt to break down some of the walls built by my old self. Starting with me addressing the person or inspiration behind the "Cubicle Curse" series. Why? What's the point? Cause well, why the fuck not? Life is too short not to be vulnerable right? So I guess here it goes. 

You were the main inspiration for all my writings this year. From all the good and bad, you've re-carved this door back into my life. I'm sure you're sitting there thinking, "This bitch is doing the most" and cringing while reading this but whatever, fuck you (not really lol). Yes, this post is about YOU and I'm sure you know it by now. And yes, it seems odd that anyone or even I, would dedicate a whole post to you but how else can I express myself? So to the best of my abilities let me show you all the words I've been trying to string together.

You may not think your existence in my life is significant but to me you shook my world and took away all the debris. Never have I met someone like you and I'm thankful that I'll never meet another person like you. You've said it yourself, "when you know you just know" and I knew for a very long time that for whatever reason, you were going to shift something in my life. So I thank the universe for that and how throughout all the most difficult circumstances I was able to meet you. And I want these words to echo in your head whenever you think about yourself. There will never be another you and even if you don't see how important of a human being you are, let me be the first to let you know. You my dear, are an extremely special and a magnificent human being. Your heart is big, your generosity boundless, and your love a spectacular reflection of everything you do, try to hide, and trying to be. I appreciate you. I adore you. But most of all, I see you for everything that you are. Good or bad, light or dark, unmotivated or passionate, just thank you for being you. 

I wish I was better with words but I feel like if I don't do this now I'll never do it. And trust me, I've probably rewritten 6 different versions of this post trying to make it sound as poetic as it could be but atlas this all that I got. 

Cubicle Curse Series: Temple

My body is a constant reminder of all the frailties I desperately try to hide from others.

My eyes are blacken and sore from numerous early morning exchanges between myself and my ego. It tells me how much it loves me when I get a glance from the crowd but also how much it hates me when I choose to lay in bed alone. 

My back is scarred and knotted from all the things I never said, wish I said, thought I loved, and from things I thought loved me. It tells me I am beautiful, extraordinary in a sense but nevertheless few steps short of perfection.

My lips are weather-torn and bruised, darken by the words I hold in anger, bleeding from the words I scream, and soften by the melodies I sing. It burns with the traces of my former lovers and the dry remains of intimacy. 

My hands are bleeding and stained with ink, the walls bleed and weep with expectations as I remove the bricks from its home. It crumbles in my hands and turns to light, freedom...freedom. 

I am fragile but I am enduring. I am fragile but I am learning. I am fragile but I am loved. I am fragile but I am peace. I am fragile but I am human.