collection of my poetry and short stories

Posts tagged 2015
2015: Year In Recap


I know it's been a while but I'm back. I contemplated doing another post like this but since I've been in a reflective mood I decided to look back at the glory that was 2015. First and foremost...damn. What a fucking year it has been. I haven't experienced so many life changing events in such a short amount of time (both good and stressful). But would I ever take it back? Nah. Regrets have never been part of my personality. Yet beyond that I feel without any of the bullshit or circumstances leading up to bullshit I wouldn't have met the most important person up to date. ME.

2015 to me at least was not about the pondering and reflecting of the drunken nights, places travelled, or even people fucked. This year was truly the reflection of who I really wanted to be. Not to the world but to ME. Who the fuck I wanted to be for myself. 

Looking back I can't pinpoint a single moment where I should have been angry or disappointed. Despite a lot of stressful circumstances, I firmly believe that every situation and person that was introduced in my life was meant to show me something. You know, teach me a lesson, ground me, humble me if you will. And for that, I'm extremely thankful. 

Being away and disappearing (like literally dipsetting my ass out of any type of human interaction), I've learned the wonderful and haunting grace that is being PRESENT in the world and finally meeting myself. 2015 was all that. Facing issues with intimacy head on, understanding my perplex views on relationships, and really, and I mean really understanding the concept of loving someone and forgiveness. Cause in reality, I'm going to be in this body and head space for the rest of my life and I'm kinda tired of making excuses to not make it the best that it could be.

So yeah, this was my 2015. I can't even constitute this as a recap but more of a brief introduction to who I've become the past year. Whatever I've become or becoming, I am extremely fucking grateful that I am here...finally. 

2014: Year in Recap

I contemplated even posting this up cause it's weird to fully think about an entire year and tell everyone about it. But whatever, I'm snacking on some string cheese and was like "what the hell Lisa, go on and reflect on yo life girl". Here in the best of my abilities (and shortest cause my fingers be getting tooo tired) some of the notable things I've learned in 2014.

1. Never take a job just to make money and don't stay in one just for comfort

Stayed in a really shitty job for 8 months and basically died every single day. I literally had multiple out of body experiences where my soul would bitch me out in Cantonese and English. Nevertheless, quitting a 9-5 office job with benefits, corporate appeal, and blah blah was one of the hardest things I had to do but was so fucking liberating. Quitting basically made me realized how I am just NOT the 9-5, office, business casual type. 

2. Always have your ass on a plane

I literally went everywhere and left Chicago every 3 months. I loved it and will continue to pursue this hobby even if my ass is dead broke and have to survive on like the 13 different Ramen flavors from Cermak Produce. I went to so many places and learned something new every time. I swam in Mexican beaches, hiked on Cali cliffs, and swooned over boys in Montreal. Life is too short to always stay in one city. 

3. Try and fail in all relationships

This year was a memorable year full of discovering new relationships whether it be platonic or romantic. I think out of everything, I learned the true meaning of what makes a healthy relationship. Cause for real, after a while you get real tired of letting shitty people come into your life who provide zero growth. So to all the fuccbois who came about this year, shout out to you. You make me so much better. But the best thing I learned from this? Love those who want to stay and love those who want to try. 

4. Fuck expectations and fuck the little voice in your head

Self-explanatory. But at 23 years old, I realized I have these paralyzing set of expectations for myself. It's like..."oh you're 23? Why aren't you in a stable job? Relationship? Have a dog? A place of your own?" First of all, who gives a fuck? If I legit just want to chill at my mama's crib eating white people made tamales, bitch let my single ass do that. And also fuck the little voice in my head who remind me that I have to adhere to the little checklist that society has placed upon me. There is nothing better in the world than to be YOU, do YOU, and just BE. I'll never be this young, hopeful, and energized in my entire life so I gotta do what I gotta do. I could rant on this hours but atlas, my stubby little fingers have lost momentum and is no longer turnt up.

In conclusion, I love you all and can't wait to see what 2015 has in store. 

- L